Sex vs Hiking in Edinburgh

14 Jan

September – October, 2017


The answer is yes.  Climbing to the top of an extinct volcano (Arthur’s Seat, that is), in fact is better than sex.

Although, truthfully, I wouldn’t know since I was abducted by big-headed beings who harvested my reproductive organs and implanted a microchip beneath my flesh before I could ever find out.  Savages.

And, frankly, Jo hasn’t had sex in so long, she could double as the Mother Superior at a convent.  But she said she’s pretty sure it was easier and quicker to have sex than it was to climb Arthur’s Seat.

FUN FACT:  Arthur’s Seat isn’t really a seat.  What?!  Next you’ll be telling me cats are really dogs!

FUN FACT NUMERO DOS:  Celtic legend has it the rock is a sleeping dragon.  A dragon that used to fly around, making life a living hell for Air Traffic Control.  He would bully people into giving them their gold and would eat handfuls of their livestock like popcorn while watching Game of Thrones.  Eventually, it ate so much, one day it laid down, fell asleep, and never woke up…which I’m pretty sure is what happens to hundreds of Americans every Thanksgiving.

* View of the Salisbury Crags, on the way to Arthur’s Seat.  I was STOKED to be doing this!


* Me imagining the Salisbury Crags as Salisbury steaks!


* View of Arthur’s Seat.  Gee, if his seat was on a volcano, Arthur must have had one. hot. ass!


* This is my “Really, you have to stop to catch your breath again, Jo?” face.  Sure, she might have been extra winded because she carried me up the stairs so I wouldn’t pull another back muscle, but come on already!

* View of the Crags.  Jo always thought THIS was Arthur’s Seat.  I mean, it IS flatter.  Makes sense to me.


* Here, Jo was gasping for air and begging me to wait for her.  


Like Indiana Jones, Jo has a fear of…well, not snakes.  But stairs.  Same thing really.

Jo wailed, “Stairs!  Why’d it have to be stairs?!”  Then she muttered, “Crikey, if I had known I was going to be breathing this hard, well, I’d rather be breathing hard while having sex.”

Now, now, Jo.  You don’t really mean that. 😉

The further up we went, the crazier the wind got!  At some points, Jo thought the wind would blow me right over the side of the trail.  She pictured me as a cartoon dog, letting out the classic Wilhelm scream as I rolled and bounced down the hill.  So, at these times, she would scoop me up and tuck me under her arm like she was hoarding a giant burrito.  “I’m protecting you, damnit,”  she insisted. So annoying, Jo.

And it was cooold.  But finally we had made it!  Or so Jo thought.

“This isn’t Arthur’s Seat?” a weary, befuddled, spaghetti-legged Jo asked.

Nope.  Apparently, this is where King Arthur liked to stand…and bemoan the fact he had to banish his carpenter from the kingdom since he no longer made round tables because he refused to…wait for it…CUT CORNERS.  I know you laughed at that.  Admit it.  Okay, lame joke.

And like the Grim Reaper, a climber pointed one long, bony finger towards the actual “seat o’ Arthur,” which, to Jo, mind as well as have been the peak of Mt. Everest.

There was no trail in some parts, just rocks!  “And just how in the hell are you supposed to get up there, Penny?”

Well, you’re going to carry me, Jo.  And I snickered to myself as Jo stuffed this dog burrito under her arm once more and clumsily, stubbornly navigated the rocks.

It was just like watching an episode of Mr. Magoo.

* NOW we had made it!  And, boy, was it worth the effort!


* Then we moseyed back down to the “valley” portion before tackling the stairs again.  Here, I stocked up on some grass.  Ya’ know, after expending all that energy while Jo carried me.


* Out of nowhere, an adoring fan insisted on some snuggles, and I had no choice but to acquiesce.  Meanwhile, Jo wondered why strangers didn’t want to rub her belly too.

* Enjoying some turtle time with this lovely lady



If you ever take a trip to Edinburgh, this is THE ONE THING you have to make time to do.  After all, it’s better than sex. 😉

Up Next:  Switching Gears with Werewoofs of London!

10 Replies to “Sex vs Hiking in Edinburgh

  1. You are so witty Penny! Loved the whole blog once again. Never really looked at the spaying process as you described it but you are soooo right. So archaic and brutal or on the other hand, futuristic sci-fi stuff. You look GREAT in all your pics – Edinburgh is one of your favorites I see, and having Jo carry you around was a good move. Actually you both look great! Miss you guys and all the food we ate, oops, I mean all the fun we had!! Love that pic with the sideway nose too – you are such a clown, girl! Give your human some love from me and I will call later today.XXXOOO

    • Spaying? That’s not what the aliens who abducted me called it! 😉 You’re absolutely right, Edinburgh was my favorite! I felt the most comfortable around other dogs there…and loved Jo carrying me everywhere hiking! We miss you too! And hell yeah to all the yummy food! You are one mean cook. 😀 Thanks so much FUR all of the lovely compliments, Gma! I love your nose too! Lots o’ kisses n’ slobber…Me and the Human

  2. As your GMA said Penny, another fun filled blog. What great pictures!
    I bet you and Jo enjoyed your GMA and GMPA visiting. And, I n just imagine all the things you saw (and ate)😊
    Where are you now? I know. On another adventure 😊 But, where?
    Enjoy every minute! Stay safe….Love and Hugs, Pat

    • Well, thank you so much, our dearest Pat! I thoroughly enjoyed my time there, hence the better pictures. 😉 We loved having the G’s visit us! Good times were had…and waaay too much food was eaten. Gma seems to think I only like her when she has food. Not so, not so! 😀 Gma didn’t like Italian pizza last time she was in Italy; now she loves it! And red wine!

      Jo and I are taking a much needed break from the city stress and are spending a month at a bed n’ breakfast in the mountains of Northern Italy. Nothing to do but hike, eat, and enjoy a private bathroom for once all to ourselves. Haha! Jo will finally get a chance to catch up on the blog as well. We were in Rome for a couple of weeks, and Jo and I took a trip to Pompeii! After the B&B, it’s off to hopefully get some great photos of Carnevale in Venice. Only there for a week because that’s all Jo can afford in that city. Cheapskate. 😉

      Then aaaall the way over to Ireland for 3-4 months, then back to the UK before heading over to Switzerland, Germany, and the Netherlands. Then heading home. 🙂 No more big cities for us though (except Edinburgh). Just smaller towns, forests and hills to hike. The cities were cool…but stressful. I’m a dog for crying out loud. I like to eat, sleep in peace, and know that I can pee outside without the fear of being run over by a rogue delivery scooter. Yes, the ones in Paris do shoot up on the sidewalk to escape traffic while you’re walking!!

      Hope you had a wonderful, warm, cozy Christmas with fam n’ friends, hon – we miss n’ love youuu! Next stop when we get home is your place! 😉

      • My place when you get home would be wonderful! Looking forward to more of your interesting blogs Penny😊
        Love and Hugs to you both, Pat

        • Puppy party at Pat’s it is then! I’ll bring the Chex Mix kibble! Goodness, now I’m going to have to pick out which pajamas to wear…

          And I’m working on the next blog as we speak! Love and double hugs to you, Pat. 🙂

  3. Ahh, Penny. You have the most wonderous misadventures. Hope you can get back whatever you have lost from the abduction. You know what too? You can definitely tell what you’re thinking and what kind of mood you’re in by the looks on your face. Quzzical, stern, questionable (like, WTF) and it was even more awesome when you were walking up that hill when in looked like at the peak of it, you were seeing God. Great pic. Well you too keep on trucking and enjoy the peace where your at. I know what you meant about the stress of the city especially when trying to relieve yourself. No life for someone like you. Love to you both, GPA

    • Hahaha! Oh, Gpa – you crack us up! Ain’t no getting back what those monsters took. *single tear* Jo insists I have a Zoolander face, as in I can only make one look, but I tend to agree with you. I am the Dog of a Thousand Faces! 😀 But what are you trying to say about me seeing God?? I don’t plan on dying anytime soon, man! Glad you enjoyed the photo though. 😉 Thanks, Gpa – we are definitely enjoying the peace out here – it’s scary calm and quiet! Not used to it after big city life, where I had to be a scrapper and don switchblades in me cap. Jo was quite selfish to drag me to all those silly places. Now she owes me big time. 😀 We love you too!!

      • No, no Penny! Let me clarify. I’m not insinuating anything other than that by the time you two reached the summit, it seemed to me that the Gods were smiling down upon you for your accomplishment. Not too many mortals had mad that climb and they were probably proud of you. And I was wondering where you kept those killer blades though. You’re quite the resourceful one. Hopefully you can retire them for awhile during your stay there. But then again, you might have to keep them handy to fend off them Italian swine that keep hitting on your lesser half. Be strong Penster and protect the hand that feeds you and catch you on the flip side. Love ya girls.

        • Bahahaha! Sure, sure, Gpa. We did feel pretty special once we got to the top…along with the other hundreds of people and dogs that seemed to be climbing that day. Guess we’re not that special after all. 😉 Protect my lesser half?! Ha! I’d abandon her in a heartbeat. Matter of fact, I walked away, then turned around and just stared at her when she fell down some stairs in Scotland. 😀 And Jo secretly likes getting hit on, especially the Italians! Wowser! But she appreciates puppy kisses more. Right, Jo? RIGHT, Jo? JO??

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